Goodbye Jeter

This post is more for my own therapeutic process than for your enjoyment as readers, but thanks anyway to those of you who read it. This past August, our dog Jeter was diagnosed with cancer. We were told that this type of tumor would not spread to other parts of his body, but that it would continue to invade his mouth and face, and that due to the type and placement of the tumor it was inoperable. We met with an oncologist to discuss treatment options and were basically told that there were no good options... we were left to wait and see. We prayed hard that God might miraculously remove this tumor, but that was not His plan.
These past 5 months have been torturous as we watched Jeter's mouth/nose triple in size. But other than the obvious growths on his face, he was the same dog we knew and loved. We spent these past 5 months making special memories with him and spoiling him with more treats and human food than ever before. Jeter's breed, the Shiba Inu, is notorious for being independent and anti-"lovey-dovey" affection. While his personality mostly stayed the same, he became much more open to love & affection and actually sought it out at times which we really enjoyed and came to value.

Jeter was my family's dog until Geoff and I got married, and then we "inherited" him since my parents were going to Mexico as missionaries. We welcomed him into our new little family and really viewed ourselves as a family of 3 right from the start. It has been especially nice for both Geoff and I that Jeter is here at home with me whenever Geoff has to travel, which makes us both feel more secure. There is nothing like being greeted at the door with a wagging tail to make you feel welcome in your own home, or knowing that strangers at the door will be greeted with a bark and growl to make you feel safer. The companionship that Jeter provided to me especially is not something that can be measured, but it surely is missed. I'm sure that any of you who have pets can relate and understand the piece of your heart that pets take hold of and don't let go.

Jeter managed to hold on until Geoff returned from the Middle East, and while I was so thankful to not have to deal with putting him down on my own, I knew that the time was coming and there was nothing I could do about it... I was hesitant to leave him alone at home for too long because he would open the wounds on his face, and he woke me up several times each night because he couldn't get comfortable. Needless to say, I knew that Jeter was ready and it was the best decision for him, but that certaintly did not make it any easier. Once Geoff got home, we scheduled an appointment and then tried to ignore the impending grief. We spent as much time at home as possible, while trying to keep ourselves entertained and ignore the inevitable. In the future, if I have to deal with this again I don't think I want to schedule and then have to wait a few days, it just seems to make it more difficult, knowing whats coming...
So Friday morning, December 18 we put Jeter to sleep. He is at peace, and for that I am grateful. Geoff spent many of the next few days comforting me and we were both anxious to leave home for a week to visit my family for Christmas in order to be less reminded of Jeter's absence. Since being home again, I have found myself looking for Jeter in his typical hiding spots, or listening for the jingle of his collar or expecting him to be at my feet when I'm cooking something in the kitchen... many tears have been shed and many memories revisited... I know the pain will decrease over time but I also know that I will never forgot what he meant to me no matter how much time goes by. Jeter, you will always be missed...